{05} tonight i’m getting over you

hkrdos:

那些年错过的大雨 
那些年错过的爱情 
好想拥抱你 
拥抱错过的勇气 

Jongin couldn’t quite recognize the person in the mirror. His hands worked on knotting his tie, eyes blank as he continued to stare hard at his own reflection. It was him all right, dark hair and even darker eyes, but now that all his love was wasted he had no idea who he really was.

His hands fumbled before the tie was properly knotted and he took one last look at his reflection before he turned away, grabbing his neatly ironed blazer and slinging it over his shoulder. Luhan’s blue Ford was already downstairs and he slid into the car with a small smile, one reserved for his best friend since high school.

Luhan studied him carefully. “You feeling fine?”

Jongin tried to continue smiling. “Yeah,” he murmured, eyes darting away to look out of the window. “Why not?”

“I just thought — “

“Let’s go,” he interrupted before Luhan could continue. “We’re going to be late.”

There was a small pause before the other male relented. “Okay,” he said.

-

There was only one person in Jongin’s head even as Luhan’s jaw dropped in awe at the grand wedding hall. It was clear a lot of effort had been put into decorating the entire place and it looked like a palace with its lights and red carpets. In spite of himself, Jongin smiled. This was very Kyungsoo.

Luhan was his best friend for a reason, and he didn’t spend too much time gaping at the interior designing. He took Jongin’s hand and pulled him towards the waiting room because the person Jongin was looking for was there. Everything still felt a little hazy even when Jongin was standing right outside the door, and Luhan didn’t waste any time in opening the door and shoving Jongin in before he shut the door again, leaving the two of them to themselves.

Kyungsoo was sitting before the mirror, and he turned when the door opened. Their eyes locked and Jongin took in his gelled hair and tuxedo all at once, feeling very small and overwhelmed at the same time. For a moment, nobody spoke. Then Kyungsoo’s lips curved up slightly and Jongin heard himself muttering, “you look beautiful.”

Kyungsoo chuckled, hands flying up to tug at his bowtie.

“You look good too,” he said, eyeing Jongin up and down. The latter touched the back of his neck, laughing as well.

“It’s been a while, huh?”

Kyungsoo stood up, walking towards Jongin because the other male seemed frozen. “Sure has,” he said quietly. “It’s been 3 years.”

“I never thought this day would come,” Jongin admitted, feeling stupid already. “I was really surprised when I got your invitation, not because you invited me, but because the groom wasn’t me.” He laughed dryly, eyes dropping. “3 years ago I was so sure I would marry you.”

“3 years ago,” Kyungsoo echoed, a distant look in his eyes. “You know, Jongin, you should have listened to my answer when we were on the bridge.”

Jongin’s head snapped up. He looked at Kyungsoo with fierce intensity. “What?”

“My answer was yes. I was going to accept you and your love. But you told me not to tell you my answer.”

“I was — “

“Do you remember what you told me?” Kyungsoo was smiling, but it was so sad Jongin felt tears come to his eyes. “You told me not to tell you my answer yet because you wanted to continue liking me the way you did.”

“I thought you were going to reject me for sure. Why would you have accepted me? You were the perfect boy, the perfect student, while I was just a wreck.”

“You weren’t a wreck,” Kyungsoo cut in, “you never were.”

Jongin felt a tear roll down his cheek. “I am, now,” he whispered, looking straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes. “You’re going to be someone else’s.” It was at that moment he realized the tears weren’t for Kyungsoo, or for himself, but for the love they had lost; or rather, for the love that could have been.

Kyungsoo looked as though he was going to start crying any moment too and Jongin stepped closer to him. Even after 3 years, he was still half a head shorter than Jongin and the urge to take him into his arms and hug him until the world fell away came back.

“I didn’t plan on coming today,” Jongin admitted, finger lifting Kyungsoo’s chin so he could look into that pair of beautiful eyes again. “But I just had to let you know something.”

“What is it?”

“I never forgot.”

“Forgot what?” Kyungsoo asked, but Jongin knew they both knew what he was talking about.

“The chances we missed, the love we wasted, the courage I never had.” Another tear rolled down. “I really wish we could return to the past.”

Jongin now had the courage he never had as he cupped one side of Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo’s eyes were brimming with tears as well but he still smiled.

“This is crazy, but I’d kill to spend another day with you in our old classroom. I’d give anything just to have you nag at me to study.”

A bell chimed and Jongin gripped Kyungsoo’s shoulder with his other hand.

“Do you know when I fell for you?”

Kyungsoo shook his head.

“It was the night we got our results and you cried on my shoulder because you did so badly. It was that starry night, when I was the first person you thought of when you were upset.”

Then Jongin let go.

“I’m not gonna stay for your wedding,” he said, “I hope you understand.”

Kyungsoo nodded, wiping at his eyes. “I understand. Thanks for turning up anyway.”

“Okay,” Jongin smiled. “I wish you happiness.”

He turned away, chest constricting as he walked away from the love of his life. Kyungsoo’s quiet voice stilled him.

“Jongin,” he called.

Jongin looked back at him questioningly.

Kyungsoo hesitated for a moment. “Don’t call me, okay? Don’t look for me. I think it’s best we don’t see each other ever again.”

Wow. That hurt. Jongin nodded through his tears.

“Okay.”

Kyungsoo pressed on. “Because I’ll fall for you if I see you again.”

Jongin stopped looking at Kyungsoo.

“Okay,” he repeated.

“By the way, you look great. You really do.”

Jongin didn’t respond. He simply pushed open the door and left without a second glance back. It was raining heavily when he stepped out of the wedding hall, but  it didn’t matter at all that he was caught in the rain in his best suit without an umbrella.

He forced himself to keep walking, trying not to make too much noises as he cried. How was he going to forget Kyungsoo when the entire world was made up of little pieces of him?

Kyungsoo told him to never look for him again, and Jongin had no intention of deliberately trying to run into him, but he told himself then, if he ever ran into Kyungsoo again, he would embrace him tightly. He would embrace him and the courage he had missed, the love they had lost, and the future they could have had together.



曾经想征服全世界 
到最后回首才发现  
这世界滴滴点点全部都是你 

匿名 asked: hello. can u plz help me in a matter? how to shorten the font size in caption area, when uploading a photo? i hope u understand what i asked. i will be waiting for the reply.

hi ! just click on <html> on the far right,in the text editor box thing

then copy & paste this there:

<small>your text here</small>

to make it even smaller just add more “<small></small>” like :

<small><small>your text here</small></small>

and so on ;u ;

after that you can just click on <html> again to edit your text the normal way so it’s easier/faster that way ~ ehheh ;u ;